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You guys…

I know it’s a Monday, and I had planned an amazing post about the introduction of Latin into the UK, but it got lost in a haze of ESSAY WRITING HELL.

I’m normally really good at writing essays.

For instance, after I finish this one, I have three essays due in which I’m looking forward to. I just need to get over this hellish one.

(I wasn’t allowed to choose my own topic, so here I am writing about Lyric poetry. Joy).

However, despite having been working on this for three days, all I have is:

What I have done, however, is:

  1. Tidied my room.
  2. Drank copious amounts of tea.
  3. Wrote three “draft” blog posts which will never see the light of day.
  4. Gone on the wii (kidding myself it “counts as a form of exercise”).
  5. Read 2 books which are nothing to do with my essay.
  6. Watched a documentary about the golf course Donald Trump is building near Aberdeen, in tears.
  7. Google Earthed said golf course.
  8. Looked up the website for said golf-course, and laughed at grammatical errors slightly demoniacally.
  9. Played patience and lost a card in the sofa. Spent half an hour looking for this card.
  10. Drank more tea.
  11. Read every post in my Reader and on Freshly Pressed. Several times.
  12. Drawn a graph of “skill of poem” by “page of book” in one of the texts for my essay. Kidding myself this is working towards my essay.
  13. Searched on-line for a dress for a ceilidh that’s coming up (read “in December”).
  14. Organised all my lecture notes by date, then my category, then alphabetically, then by category and date.
  15. Got really annoyed at my cat for sitting on my knee while I’m trying so hard to write an essay!
  16. Discovered this lady online and spent a few hours stalking her.
  17. Complained loudly about my essay topic being so boring.
  18. Made a pot of tea only to forget about having done this until it went cold.
  19. Stalked some old school friends on facebook. Found out some still live with their parents and felt good about myself, but then found out that some were hidden geniuses the whole time and felt pretty rubbish.
  20. Drowned my sorrow in a fresh pot of tea.
  21. Completed this quiz and many others like it.
  22. Discovered there is a quiz which tells you how good your spelling is on twitter. Considered opening a twitter account to complete said quiz.
  23. Discovered that twitter truly terrifies me, and seems to be pointless.
  24. Played football with my cat using a ping pong ball.
  25. Lost at football because I can’t fit under the cabinet where he insists my goal is.
  26. Moved my workstation into the sun.
  27. Worked out that if this essay is worth 10% of my courses grade, it’s worth a total of 1.25% of my overall degree.
  28. Decided the sun was getting into my eyes and moved back to my old workstation.
  29. Made three playlists on 8tracks.
  30. Written this blog post while listening to said playlist.

Readers, do you have any idea as to how I can motivate myself???